Clara and Mark

  Mark: walking into the apartment “Clara, why is there a package on our doorstep?” Clara: standing over it, arms crossed “EXACTLY, MARK. WHO SENT IT? ” Mark: reading the label “It… literally has your name on it.” Clara: “I KNOW. BUT I DIDN’T ORDER ANYTHING.” Mark: pausing “…Okay, that’s actually weird.” Clara: nodding “THANK YOU.” 📦 [They stare at the box.] 📦 Mark: sitting on the couch “Maybe it’s a gift?” Clara: shaking head “Nope. My birthday’s months away, and I’ve wronged too many people to get surprise presents.” Mark: muttering “That part tracks.” Clara: “I CALLED AMAZON. They said it came from a ‘private sender.’ ” Mark: blinking “That’s… unsettling.” Clara: pointing dramatically “MARK. THIS COULD BE ANYTHING. ” Mark: sarcastic “Ooooh, yes. It’s probably a government tracking device. Or a cursed object. Maybe even a portal to another dimension.” Clara: gasping “THOSE ARE ALL VALID OPTIONS.” Mark: groaning “Clara, just open it.” Clara: “NO WA...

  Mark: browsing in a department store “Okay, Clara. No conspiracies today. Just normal shopping. ” Clara: already suspicious “Mark. Something’s wrong.” Mark: groaning “Clara, we just got here.” Clara: whispering “The mannequins.” Mark: pinching the bridge of his nose “Oh no.” Clara: “I swear one of them moved. ” Mark: glancing at them “They’re… mannequins, Clara.” Clara: gripping his arm “THEN WHY DO THEY HAVE REALISTIC EYELASHES?! ” Mark: blinking “Wait… they do?” Clara: “YES. And WHY do they always face the door, like they’re watching who comes in?” Mark: “So people notice the clothes?” Clara: shaking head “NO, MARK. They are sentinels. Watching. Waiting.” Mark: crossing arms “Alright, let’s say—for the sake of my sanity —that you’re right. What is their goal? ” Clara: dramatic pause “To replace us. ” Mark: laughing “Replace us?” Clara: “Think about it! The perfect bodies. The flawless faces. They never age. They never blink. What if they’re practi...

  Mark: typing on his laptop “Clara, why are you taping a sticky note over your webcam?” Clara: whispers “Mark. He’s watching.” Mark: blinking “Who?” Clara: “The Government Webcam Guy. ” Mark: sighing “Oh no.” Clara: “Think about it! Every device has a camera now—laptops, phones, fridges—” Mark: raising a finger “Okay, if your fridge is spying on you, that’s a you problem.” Clara: ignoring him “And someone, somewhere, has to be monitoring them. ” Mark: “No one is watching you, Clara.” Clara: dramatic pause “Then why did my laptop camera turn on by itself yesterday? ” Mark: freezing “…Wait. What?” Clara: nodding intensely “JUST FOR A SECOND. A tiny green light. Then—gone. ” Mark: slowly closing his laptop “That’s… not great.” Clara: grinning “SEE?! THEY’RE OUT THERE.” 📱 Clara’s phone suddenly lights up. 📱 Clara: staring at it “Oh no.” Mark: watching nervously “What?” Clara: whispers “He knows we’re talking about him.” Mark: “It’s probably just a n...

  Mark: walking home with groceries “Clara, why are you standing in the middle of the street looking paranoid?” Clara: whispers “Mark. The ice cream truck.” Mark: blinking “…What about it?” Clara: “It never stops. ” Mark: squinting “What?” Clara: “I’ve been tracking it for three days. It drives around the neighborhood playing the SAME CREEPY MUSIC… but NO ONE EVER BUYS ICE CREAM.” Mark: putting groceries down “Clara. It’s an ice cream truck. Maybe business is slow.” Clara: intense “OR MAYBE IT’S NOT SELLING ICE CREAM. ” Mark: sighing “Alright. Fine. What’s your theory this time?” Clara: “POSSIBILITIES: 1️⃣ Secret government surveillance vehicle. 2️⃣ Undercover alien reconnaissance. 3️⃣ A cursed truck, doomed to drive forever. ” Mark: “Or, and hear me out… it’s just an ice cream truck.” Clara: grabbing his shoulders “THEN WHY DOES IT NEVER STOP, MARK?” Mark: “Maybe you just aren’t looking when it does?” Clara: “NO. I’ve staked out the intersection for HOURS...

  Mark: relaxing on the couch, sipping tea 📞 Phone rings. Clara: grinning “MARK. DO NOT ANSWER THAT CALL.” Mark: raising an eyebrow “It’s just a telemarketer.” Clara: whispers “That’s what they want you to think.” Mark: already tired “Oh no.” Clara: “WHEN was the last time you gave your number to a random warranty company? ” Mark: “Never?” Clara: “EXACTLY. So how do they have it? ” Mark: “Probably from some mailing list—” Clara: pointing dramatically “OR FROM A HIGHLY ORGANIZED GLOBAL DATA-HARVESTING OPERATION. ” Mark: groaning “Clara, it’s just a scam.” Clara: “THINK BIGGER, MARK.” 📞 Phone rings again. Mark: “Why don’t you just block the number?” Clara: “And let them know I’m onto them? NO. ” Mark: blinking “What?” Clara: grinning “We do this MY way.” Mark: “I really don’t want to know what that means.” 📞 Clara ANSWERS the call. Clara: dramatic spy voice “ THE PACKAGE IS SECURE. ” 📞 Telemarketer: “…Uh… excuse me?” Clara: serious “THE RAVEN HAS LE...

  Mark: sitting on the couch, reading Clara: bursts into the room, looking panicked “MARK. DROP EVERYTHING.” Mark: not looking up “No.” Clara: “WE HAVE A SECURITY BREACH.” Mark: flipping a page “We don’t have security.” Clara: grabbing his book “WE DO NOW.” Mark: glaring “Clara. What did you do.” Clara: dead serious “The neighbor’s dog… is a spy. ” Mark: sighing “Oh, here we go.” Clara: “I SAW HIM, MARK. HE WATCHES ME. EVERY DAY.” Mark: sipping coffee “It’s almost like… that’s what dogs do.” Clara: waving arms “NO. This is different. He doesn’t just watch. He observes. ” Mark: “Clara—” Clara: “He knows things, Mark. Too many things. ” Mark: closing his book “Like what.” Clara: leaning in “I was eating a sandwich on the porch. He was across the street, sitting on the lawn, just staring at me. No blinking. No tail wagging. Just pure intelligence. ” Mark: “That’s not intelligence, that’s hope. He wanted your sandwich.” Clara: ignoring him “So I tested ...