Clara & Mark vs. The Aliens at the DMV

 Mark: checking his watch “Clara, you’ve been staring at that DMV worker for five minutes. Please stop.”

Clara: whispers “Mark. That man is an alien.”

Mark: deep sigh “Oh no.”

Clara: “LOOK AT HIM. The blank stare. The robotic movements. The absolute lack of a soul.”

Mark: “That’s just called ‘working at the DMV,’ Clara.”

Clara: grabbing Mark’s sleeve “NO. Think about it. Why are DMV employees so eerily similar everywhere?”

Mark: massaging his temples “Because bureaucracy drains the human spirit?”

Clara: dramatic pause “Or because THEY AREN’T HUMAN AT ALL.”

Mark: staring at her “Clara.”

Clara: “LISTEN. Every DMV feels the same. Looks the same. Smells the same.”

Mark: “That’s because it’s a government building.”

Clara: “OR it’s a front for extraterrestrial activity.”

Mark: slowly closing his eyes “No.”

Clara: “YES. Think about it! The long wait times? A test to see how much frustration the human brain can endure.”

Mark: “It’s just bad customer service.”

Clara: “The outdated computers? Disguised alien tech barely holding together.”

Mark: sighing “Or just… government funding issues?”

Clara: “THE MONOTONE VOICES? They’re failing their human vocal simulations!”

Mark: “Clara, please.”

Clara: “AND WHY DO THEY ALWAYS ASK IF YOU WANT TO BE AN ORGAN DONOR?”

Mark: “Because—”

Clara: “ORGAN HARVESTING FOR SPACE EXPERIMENTS, MARK.”

Mark: visibly regretting his entire life

Clara: gesturing wildly “I BET IF WE CHECKED THE SECURITY CAMERAS, WE’D SEE DMV EMPLOYEES BLINKING SIDEWAYS.”

Mark: grabbing her arm “We are leaving.”

Clara: “WAIT. I HAVE A PLAN.”

Mark: “NO.”

Clara: “TOO LATE.” pulls out a tinfoil hat

Mark: “WHERE DID YOU EVEN GET THAT?!”

Clara: grinning “I CAME PREPARED.”

[One chaotic encounter with DMV security later…]

Mark: exasperated “Clara, we are banned from the DMV.”

Clara: shrugging “That’s fine. I don’t believe in licenses anyway.”

Mark: staring in horror “WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!”

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