Clara & Mark vs. The Dentist Conspiracy

 Mark: flipping through a book “Clara, why are you holding a stack of dental X-rays and looking like a maniac?”

Clara: whispers “Mark. The dentists are hiding something.”

Mark: rubbing his temples “Oh no.”

Clara: “Think about it. Every dentist office has a little drawer full of tiny plastic treasure toys.”

Mark: suspicious “So?”

Clara: dramatic pause “WHY. DO THEY HAVE THEM?”

Mark: “For kids, Clara. It’s a reward for being brave at the dentist.”

Clara: “OR a hush prize so we don’t question what they’re really up to.”

Mark: closing his book “I’m afraid to ask, but… what do you think dentists are ‘really up to’?”

Clara: leaning in “They steal TEETH, Mark.”

Mark: blinking “…Yes. That’s their job.”

Clara: “But where do the teeth go?”

Mark: sighing “Medical disposal?”

Clara: “THEN WHY HAVE I NEVER SEEN A ‘TOOTH DISPOSAL TRUCK’ ON THE ROAD?”

Mark: “Clara, I—”

Clara: “AND WHY DO THEY ALWAYS ASK IF YOU WANT TO KEEP YOUR WISDOM TEETH? LIKE IT’S SOME HIGHLY CLASSIFIED CHOICE.”

Mark: staring into the void

Clara: waving X-rays “I HAVE BEEN COLLECTING DATA. My theory? Dentists are working for the Tooth Fairy.”

Mark: choking on his coffee “WHAT?”

Clara: “Think about it! They extract the teeth, send them up the chain, and BOOM—Tooth Fairy has infinite supply.”

Mark: slowly standing up “I need to leave before my brain collapses.”

Clara: “WAIT. We need evidence.”

Mark: “NO.”

Clara: “TOO LATE. I ALREADY SNUCK INTO MY DENTIST’S OFFICE AND TOOK THIS.” pulls out a jar of teeth

Mark: screaming “WHY DO YOU HAVE A JAR OF TEETH?!”

Clara: dead serious “Mark, who is buying all the missing teeth?”

Mark: “I’M CALLING THE POLICE.”

[One chaotic argument later…]

Mark: groaning “Let me guess. You have a new theory.”

Clara: nodding “What if the Tooth Fairy is just one really rich guy with a teeth obsession?”

Mark: leaving “I hate my life.”

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