Clara & Mark vs. The Fish in the Lake

 Mark: sitting on a bench, peacefully reading

Clara: bursts onto the scene, soaking wet “MARK. WE HAVE A SITUATION.”

Mark: not looking up “Did you fall into the lake again?”

Clara: gasping “NO. I WAS PULLED IN.”

Mark: sighing, turning a page “By gravity?”

Clara: grabbing his shoulders “BY THE FISH, MARK.”

Mark: finally looking up “…I need you to explain that sentence very carefully.”

Clara: “The fish in the lake? They’re up to something.”

Mark: putting book down “Okay. Let’s hear it. What’s your logic this time?”

Clara: counting on fingers “ONE. Every time I throw a piece of bread in, they all swarm like a tiny, organized army.”

Mark: “That’s called being a school of fish, Clara.”

Clara: “TWO. I made direct eye contact with a really big fish and I swear it nodded at me.”

Mark: “…It nodded.”

Clara: “YES. Like, ‘I see you. I know what you are.’”

Mark: staring “What… does that mean?”

Clara: whispering “They recognize me now.”

Mark: slowly rubbing temples “Clara, are you suggesting that the fish in this lake have… a secret society?”

Clara: nodding furiously “I’M SAYING THEY HAVE A PLAN.”

Mark: pinching bridge of nose “Clara. Fish do not have ‘plans.’”

Clara: grabbing his sleeve “OH REALLY? Then why did one steal my watch?”

Mark: blinking “I—wait. What?”

Clara: “I was reaching in the water, right? And then SPLASH—one of them grabbed my wrist, and BAM! My watch is gone!”

Mark: “You mean you dropped it in the lake?”

Clara: “NO. IT WAS TAKEN. LIKE A HEIST.”

Mark: “Clara, fish do not perform heists.”

Clara: “Oh yeah? THEN EXPLAIN WHY I JUST SAW A FISH JUMP OUT OF THE WATER WEARING A SHINY OBJECT AROUND ITS FIN.”

Mark: staring at the lake “You know what? I’m not even going to look. If I see a fish wearing a Rolex, I will simply walk into the woods and never return.”

Clara: “HELP ME GET IT BACK.”

Mark: “NO.”

Clara: “TOO LATE.” shoves a snorkel into his hands

Mark: screaming “CLARA, I AM NOT FIGHTING A LAKE MAFIA.”

[One chaotic lake rescue attempt later…]

Mark: soaking wet, glaring “We. Are. Never. Doing. That. Again.”

Clara: holding her watch triumphantly “VICTORY.”

Mark: “You punched a fish.”

Clara: “He had it coming.”

Mark: standing up “I’m leaving.”

Clara: “WAIT. New theory.”

Mark: exasperated “No.”

Clara: “What if this is just a small branch of a larger underwater crime syndicate?”

Mark: walking faster “I’m ignoring you.”

Clara: “MARK. WHAT IF ALL OCEANS ARE SECRETLY RUN BY FISH GANGS?”

Mark: screaming internally

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